The Link Between Rock Climbing & Beards

I’ve been Rock Climbing now for a few years, and once I started, I noticed an incredible transformation with my body a few months after climbing. I had grown a beard. Now this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I’d never been able to grow a beard before .. Rock Climbing was the ONLY thing I had done differently. As a journalist, I had to get the facts, what I discovered, was phenomenal.

Rock Climbing Causes Beard Growth


Now, I’m no scientist, but, scientific testing has empirically established that strenuous rock climbing enhances beard follicle growth in 9 out of 10 subjects. The hair follicles are stimulated by the increase in the Arrector Pili Muscle of the follicle, caused by the rapid expansion of the bulge due to increased testosterone, caused by Rock Climbing. This phenomena is known in the medical world as “Peaking,” due to it’s effect on the rock climbing community and for the fact that most of the beards actually increase the Rock Climber’s appearance to their spouse.

With this new information, I was still curious, because so many Rock Climbers I knew DIDN’T have beards, Science calls these outliers “10 Per Centers” as they do in fact possess the increased growth but choose to shave or shrug their Rock Climbing genes to seem more normal or less awesome.

Notable “10 Per Centers”


Don’t be fooled. This man DOES NOT have a beard! He still has time though, and we’re going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Scientists arn’t clear as to why these “10 Per Centers” choose to go without the existence of their awesome beards and we may never know, but we think that it’s to hide their powers, like how Superman poses as Clark Kent during the day. Justin, clearly just needs to climb more.




Further Evidence

We used our own gym as a microcosm of the world and tested out this theory. Below is the photo evidence.

So what have we learned? Well, as I said, I’m not a scientist, BUT I can definitely say that Rock Climbing causes beard growth. How? Because science. That’s all the evidence for now, climb on everyone, and Happy April Fools Day